I have amazing conversations with some really awesome people that have lived lives with a lot of cool happenings.
One of the things that seems to be present in most every deep conversation that I have with anyone from various walks of life is the desire for a feeling of “worthiness” or “appreciation” or “validation”. I hear successful, seasoned, articulate, people, appearing almost child-like, expressing a single hope … to feel that they are valued by someone or some organization or team that they hold in high regard. In essence, they echo a very strong desire in many of us … how do I build my self-esteem?
The thing I am beginning to see is that contrary to our first initial response to this idea in our minds, self-esteem does not come from someone else to us. Self-esteem comes from the inside out. Self-esteem in it’s most simplest definition is … doing the next basic right thing … even if we do not ‘feel’ like it.
You may be thinking, that sounds pretty simple. The concept is simple, the training and reprogramming of our minds to receive or act on this revelation is limited only by one thing … our rejection of the idea that building our self-esteem is dependent solely on the choices we make. We have, for far too long, marinated on the idea that we need the approval and acceptance of others to feel whole.
So, here’s the good news and the bad news … YOU are in the driver’s seat of your feelings of self-worth.
Whether we feel competent or able to build personal self-esteem, we can do it. Move confidently in the knowledge that YOU are a unique and gifted individual. Each of us are created in God’s image and according to His design. What we do with what He has given us to work with is best determined by surrendering all of the hopeless feelings that come from depending on anyone else, but God, to make us feel a particular way … um better.
When having a down day … instead of sitting around feeling down about all the things that cannot be changed, do the next basic right thing in your world … consider the things that can be changed.
Wash the car, walk the dog, clean the closet, pray, reach out to encourage someone else that is going through something that is obviously more difficult that the “down” day you are experiencing. When you get up, show up and do the next basic right thing, you will be completely amazed at how it transforms the feelings of unworthiness or hopelessness into positive thoughts and feelings.
God has put within each of us, a tiny little voice that whispers, “this is the way to go or the thing to do…go on and step out there and make a move”. Our feelings may appear to be insurmountable walls, but they are, in reality, nothing more than perceived blockades that keep us from what we truly long for.
No other person can build us. God has already designed us and has great purpose for us. The greatest enemy we have at times is … passivity. Passivity, being the inability to ‘push against’ the inhibiting thoughts and feelings that limit us.
For each of us, there is a sweet spot of daily living and it is the same rhythm that leads us to maturity. It is simply choosing to do the right thing, regardless of how we feel about it. What we think or focus on will impact what we believe. What we believe is what we will do and how we will live.
So, the question becomes, What are you able to do in this situation?
Relinquish what you cannot change, how people respond and react to you, and meet the challenges to break through the things where you can impact and make a difference.
And, by all means, e l i m i n a t e – every excuse for not doing all that you are able to do … to create in your own mind, the YOU that God sees!
Sheri Geyer is a Life Management Coach, Mentor, Writer, Wife & MomI