To let go of anchors of hurtful things from the past, it is imperative that we let go of the illusion that we are actually in control. It is God who providentially guides and directs the circumstances of life. He looks at the mess, the rubble, the fall out and sees something beautiful. In our hurt, pride, anger, blame, and with all our wounds, we are unable to see us through His eyes. In our brokenness He affirms that He has a plan and a purpose for each of us. He replaces despair with hope and anchors us to a firm foundation in Christ.
Control is married to fear. Whatever we are fearful of becomes the thing or situation that we are tempted and / or determined to control. In an effort to control circumstances and situations, we often create the very chaos that we make every effort to avoid.
Since we are unable to determine the outcome in any situation and often think each circumstance is the “end of the world”, we really are incapable of being in control. Even with all human effort, we are at God’s mercy in how each life issue will work out.The beauty is that we can rest in Him as we wait on how He directs our paths and orchestrates what we need to learn in each given opportunity. What we may judge negatively can be used by God to instruct us in righteousness and in the growth we need for our journey.
In struggles with disappointments, failures, and unmet expectations, we can find that the key to true happiness is consciously making the choice to leave the past behind. Neither money, possessions or people can bring lasting happiness. It is in realizing that love, forgiveness, and repentance are all choices that bring right thinking and right relationships. Our perception of self, others, life, work, etc. is the springboard for how well we manage mental and emotional stress.
Transformation is when hearts are changed and then actions and thoughts will follow. Before making a decision to devote time, energy or money to a particular thing, consider the fruit it will bear. Living on Purpose is a choice that is made moment by moment and not in the “heat” of heightened emotions, fears or distress.The only true thing we have the ability to control is “self”. In our efforts to avoid dealing with establishing healthy and safe boundaries aka “self-control”, we often trying to control external issues, i.e. other people, circumstances etc. This only leads to more anxiety. It is truly out of our hands. Establish safe habits and enjoy the security that having control over self brings.
Self-control allows us to live, love, work, save, eat, drink … all in moderation. This, in turn, equates to a better sense of balance and security, in that, we don’t have to juggle feelings of guilt for engaging in destructive behaviors.
Sheri Geyer is a Christian Life Coach, Mentor, Writer, Wife & Mom